Why do people lie...

Discussion in 'Ask An Escort' started by Mocha, Jan 11, 2017.

  1. Mocha

    Mocha Baron

    Didn't wanna have to start the year off like this, but Why? And why so many? This mainly applies to new clients especially incall types...The biggest culprit: adam4adam. But it applies to all sites including RM.

    People say they're going to come and then they don't come. Even after some screening and insuring they're legit. Love the ones who ask for my availability, you tell them, give the run down, then they say they can come over "now" or in 15 minutes. Then dead silence. It's like I'm getting tired of Blacklisting people. Not. I don't give out my actual address anymore, I've resorted to giving out a closest block address and/or hotel until they actually call saying they are there, since there's usually apartments/hotels along my street...in case someone tries to post dirty pictures of me on the mailboxes or something. Atleast that's what comes to mind when giving out an address and someone doesn't turn up when they say they will.

    Is it laziness, fear, or passive aggression? The discontenting part of it is it turns a relatively happy or complacent mood into something more sinister.

    Passive-aggressive behavior is the indirect expression of hostility, such as through procrastination, stubbornness, sullen behavior, or deliberate or repeated failure to accomplish requested tasks for which one is (often explicitly) responsible.
     
    Last edited: Jan 11, 2017
  2. MartyB

    MartyB Journeyman

    That is one of the cardinal rules I never want to break. If I can walk or not sick I will come. I've had one terrible experience where my phone died and I was taking public transportation and didn't write the address and phone number down and couldn't find the guy after searching for 2 hours. I felt awful and the damage was done I did apologize to him but I've felt very awkward about setting up a new session. Once I've committed I never back out even when amazing guys are available. Just plain common courtesy.
     
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  3. OliverSaks

    OliverSaks Master

    In my experience, clients have always flaked on me in some amount; this hasn't really changed in the 2 or so years that I've been escorting.

    It used to bother me A LOT, but I realize now that I was just falling into the trap of attachment, by way of having too many expectations about how things should be. As I go deeper into "the path of Buddha," I don't get nearly so bent out of shape. I would recommend a practice of non-attachment to spare yourself some of this unnecessary suffering.

    (There is no Better Business Bureau for escorts or clients - I know it can get frustrating.)

    Finally, I recall times when things were outside of my or my clients control that prevented a successful or timely meeting. If you've ever overslept or got an address wrong and ended up in the wrong part of the city (I'm a blonde...), then I think it is responsible to give people the benefit of the doubt. People chicken out sometimes, too.
     
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  4. OliverSaks

    OliverSaks Master

    At the end of the day, it really doesn't matter why fake clients are doing these frustrating things to us.

    We can only really control ourselves and our reactions to these trespasses.
     
    pitman, honcho, Eric Hassan and 2 others like this.
  5. latbear4blk

    latbear4blk Count

    I don't think they are doing it TO you, I don't think they are doing it intentionally. They are probably closeted, troubled men, struggling with making the decision and following up.
     
    Last edited: Jan 11, 2017
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  6. OliverSaks

    OliverSaks Master

    You're right - important semantic difference.
     
    honcho likes this.
  7. Mocha

    Mocha Baron

    Actually....there is, sort of. It's www.nationalblacklist.com. They can shutdown backpage but they'll never shut down blacklist. It's interesting what you say about the Buddha detachment. I don't know much about specific poverbs or such related. But I'll include it in my nightly research.

    I don't know. It's not so much I get attached to the outcome. I could be doing other things, and was. It's not like my life depended on that a**hole's asshole or money. But, the mere fact of doing administrative work (texting, answering questions, etc) for some bullshit, some intentional bullshit at that...is what deludes me. It just reinforces the fact that I might have to revert to a no texting or your phone will get spammed policy or something. I tried to change to a phone plan with no texts, but every company makes you get a plan with texts.

    I think a big part of it is location. This behavior runs rampant in the South and certain areas in the U.S. in general it seems. I notice even in public, people working customer service positions appear so fed up and are impatient/rude to the customers sometimes in certain cities. But if they deal with half the things, or worse 8 hours a day straight of the things I deal with...It's 100% understandable. The comings and going of the holidays have also increased the demonoids as well.

    As I've said before and will say again, it's usually too the "All American " guys instigating these things, versus the ethnic guys. Though the "All American" guys also make up most of my good clients as well. Sucks but it's like a double edged dildo up the a** of sorts. Hard to spot the terrorists among decent civilians it seems.

    Hopefully when I move to a new city this year, it'll be better than this hillbilly dump off I'm living in now and these conversations will be a thing of the past.
     
    Last edited: Jan 12, 2017
  8. Beancounter

    Beancounter Knight

    Hopefully when I move to a new city this year, it'll be better than this hillbilly dump off I'm living in now and these conversations will be a thing of the past.

    Please don't come to Dallas.
     
    Mocha, Cliff, bigvalboy and 1 other person like this.
  9. cany10011

    cany10011 Baron

    Sorry to hear about your frustrations... but flakes are everywhere. Even noncommercial hookups.
     
    Mocha likes this.
  10. Cliff

    Cliff Master

    Dear Diary,
    Starting tomorrow I'm going to stop being a whiny little bitch.
    Hugs and kisses,
    Mocha
     
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  11. MiamiLooker

    MiamiLooker Count

    Based on your posting history for the last several years, I’m afraid your optimism for this year is unwarranted.
     
  12. YoungAD

    YoungAD Master

    A better question might be: "Why do you continue to fall for it?"
     
  13. jjkrkwood

    jjkrkwood Regent

    I would think a good, professional escort would learn the warning signs and signals in a conversation, and be able to perceive seriousness. 95% of the time you will hit it right and sometimes you will fail. But a good professional escort will also learn that behavioral quirks cum with the territory, in ANY business, and would be able to roll with it without constantly complaining. Sure you have a right to be frustrated, but why diss the people that pay your rent? Suck it up and get on with it IF this is a profession you want to be in. It will NEVER be the way you want it to be, get that straight. So if you cant stand the heat, get out of the pan. Its not a good look when a good, professional escort is ALWAYS complaining about something... It makes one wonder if its really YOU and not THEM that's the problem ? People hire to get away from their problems... They aint gonna want YOURS !
     
  14. hekilio

    hekilio Journeyman

    I think the first step to getting more clients to show up is to always give the wrong incall address, so that one's that do show up, have to contact you again, and then walk another block or two to the real address. That can be part of the fun and excitement of hiring an escort, extra fun if you have to pay for parking at the wrong hotel. Once you've successfully established this practice, then announce it on a public forum of potential clients. Reliable clients will flock to you. That is, unless you have a different forum user name and no one could ever ever ever figure out your rentmen profile in a city such as, oh, I don't know, Nashville.
     
  15. Beancounter

    Beancounter Knight

    You have perfected the art of sarcasm. I loved your post. :D:D:D
     
  16. sincitymix

    sincitymix Viscount

    uhm no. as a client, if i am given an incorrect address, ill be so pissed off i will not go to the "correct" address.
    aaaaaand i just looked up and noticed your response was sarcasm lol :p
     
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  17. tennisjock

    tennisjock Baron

    Mocha Is this a frequent occurrence ? If it is then it may be in your responses to the potential client which is why they just disappear after checking yr availability etc.
     
  18. N13

    N13 Baron

    Mocha, whatever you call yourself your posts are all the same. Whine, Complain, Blame everyone else. You are in the wrong business!
     
  19. Dominiking

    Dominiking Viscount

    You won't ever 100 percent know if someones a flake or not, but you have a good idea by asking to meet them someone close to your home like a starbucks, that way if they they don't show up they don't know your apt. You could take it one step further and ask them to take a picture or something of where they are currently, but you know the more you demand the more your going to scare someone away, but then you further the chances they are real if they do agree to do it.

    P.S is it just me, or are the number of escorts who posts on this forum dwindling :(
    I remember when I first join last year, that they were so much more escorts posting
     
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  20. Keith30309

    Keith30309 Count

    I believe you just may be right about that.

    My hypothesis is that, from an escort point of view, the amount of grief that is dished out to anyone expressing an opinion with which someone disagrees is simply not worth the effort nor risk of creating a negative impression to potential clients.

    I direct new escorts I meet to the Forum because it's a valuable resource but advise them to avoid any discussion not directly related to their services or travel. I've seen many blistering attacks on individuals, client and escort, and if my income depended to any extent on client perception I would be extremely careful about keeping a very low profile here. It's simply good business.

    Let's be nice to our companion friends.
     
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